Archive
Caregiving Retired Moms-I Salute You
Katie Couric just Tweeted about an article in the New York Times entitled “Caregiving as a “Roller-Coaster Ride from Hell,” http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/09/caregiving-as-a-roller-coaster-ride-from-hell/. Personally, I think the headline should be Caregivers-We Salute You! The former headline sounds so negative.
I realize that being a caregiver is not easy. Over two years ago I fell and shattered my right heel. I was wheelchair bound for three months. My husband had to take on the task of being my caregiver while working a full-time job with a 45-minute one-way commute to work every day. He had to handle the household chores, such as laundry and cooking. He even had the task of dealing with some of my female bodily functions. I know it hadn’t been easy for him. He never complained. I was so proud of him. He was great! He made sure I had access to everything I needed before he left for work each day. I did do my best to ease the load as much as I possibly could. Should my MS ever take a turn for the worse, he will once again have to become my caregiver.
The article talks about how over 40 million women are primary caregivers. Most are caring for their sick spouses. The article describes the frustrations women experience when caring for their husbands. Some sick spouses even show disrespect for all the work the wife does while caring for a family and working. When the caregiver meets friends, the discussion focuses more about the health of the sick spouse than the caregiving wife. Nobody bothers to ask her how she is doing and is there anything they could do to help.
I included this article for Retired Moms Only because this is a role that many retired moms may not find to be so satisfying after the children leave the nest. Don’t get me wrong. Many women perform their caregiving duties out of love. Regardless, being a caregiver is hard, backbreaking work. I’m certain that any retired mom would rather be the caregiver for that new grandbaby than for a spouse who underappreciates all the work going into their care, but as women we see the necessity and the reality of situation. We know someone has to do it, so we take a brave and courageous step forward. These women in the trenches of caregiving need to be honored and respected.
The article is not all negative though. Dr. Diana Denholm wrote “The Caregiving Wife’s Handbook.” Her book details helpful information for the caregiving woman. Dr. Denholm was a caregiver to her husband for 11 1/2 years. The article lists 50 do’s and don’ts for the caregiving wife. I read some of the tips, and I think they are very helpful.
So for my Retired Moms Only, if you are a caregiver for your sick husband I urge you to take the time to read the article and spend those few dollars to buy the book. You may find the resources you need to ease the weight of your burdens. Also, prayer doesn’t hurt either. Jesus told us to come to Him and give Him our burdens. He lightens the load tremendously.
Have Camera, Will Travel is Her Ageless Passion
Retired Moms Only
The Retired Moms Only idea came to me because, while all the Mommy blogs are great (wish I had them when raising my children), there is a mom demographic that is being overlooked. These are moms with children who have left the nest and are about to leave the nest. These are moms who have become grandmothers. While I know that moms never really retire, the role of mother changes when the children leave the nest or just get too big to need mom that much any more. Retired moms are put into a position where they have to re-evaluate their roles. Some are fortunate enough to play the new role as a grandmother, but what does a retired mom do when the grandchildren are not available? Where does life pick up from there?
That is how I plan to use Inbox Magazine retiredmomsonly.com website & blog. I want to hear from Moms age 50+. What are your passions? Are you still working? If so, what type of work do you do? What are your needs? What types of information do you need to make your life easier? Obviously, retired moms would like information related to their grandchildren or even for the grown children.
I will use myself as an example. I am a mother of three children. I have two sons and a daughter. My older son, age 38, is married with an adopted daughter. My daughter, age 37, is married with two sons. My younger son is 22, unmarried and finishing his education. The bad economy caused me to lose two jobs within one year. I am 57-years-old and with very little chance of getting hired by any employer. That situation has placed me into a position of starting my own public relations, marketing and advertising agency. I am meeting many new challenges throughout this transition. The success of the agency is all in God’s hands. I will definitely need spiritual help with this. I have lived with multiple sclerosis for 19 years, but I have been very blessed with my health condition. It presents a few minor challenges, but I worked out solutions to these challenges. I live in an Arkansas rural area. I own an Akita named Suki. I am married.
With all that said, I would be interested in stories about changing careers after 50; entrepreneurship, how I can relate to my teenage grandchildren; lifestyle; hobbies; passions; relationships; healthcare issues for women over 50; pet ownership; financial security; etc. I am looking for professionals who are willing to contribute to this Inbox Magazine and serve on a panel. The panel would need to be made up of volunteers.
All I can say at this point is to look out for the launch of my Inbox Magazine Retired Moms Only. It’s still a work in progress, but I will be posting ideas & stories through my R Squared Communications WordPress site.
Have Camera, Will Travel is Her Ageless Passion
Verna Higgins at Petit Jean Mtn. Arkansas
She wears it as if it’s another appendage on her body. It goes everywhere she goes, including on two motorized wheels. It’s a tool that answers to a lifetime passion, but it wasn’t until her later years in life that she finally responded to its call.
Passionate photographers have a deep personal relationship with their cameras. For the passionate photographer, whether amateur or professional, a moment without a camera in a relatable personal hemisphere is like a moment without air. It’s a passion, a love, they can’t live without. That is how Verna Higgins, age 51, feels about her photography.
Raising two sons came first. Her passion lay dormant while performing the duties of a mom. With one child raised, educated and married and another in his high school years, Verna decided it was time to seriously pick up her Nikon P500 camera to try taking pictures as a profession and a small business. She became what I call a “retired mom.” I’ll explain retired moms later.
I first met Verna while attending a volunteer meeting at the Greenbrier Chamber of Commerce in the quaint little town of Greenbrier, Arkansas. After many disappointing attempts at finding me another job in a sick economy, I decided to take my dream seriously. I started R Squared Communications. I knew I needed to reach out to the local community. My connection with Verna continued through my business Facebook account. I watched Verna display her photography skills whenever she posted them on Facebook. Being a photographer myself, I noticed she was pretty good. I decided to get to know her better.
When I met Verna, she decided to start her own photography business. She was involved with the local Chamber of Commerce for the same reason I was. She stepped back from her dream a little bit because of the local competition, but that didn’t deter her from doing what she loved. Her camera goes everywhere she goes, including motorcycle excursions with her husband, Randy.
Verna takes advantage of their multiple trips via Harley motorcycle into Arkansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas, and Florida and along the way she hones her photography skills. She’s gotten fairly adept with the video camera too. A favorite photo opportunity is from the perspective of riding on the back of the motorcycle. There are photos taken of reflections from the back of her husband’s helmet. Obviously, there are many other types of photos taken on their trips. Randy shows his support for Verna’s passion by occasionally stopping on the road to allow Verna to get that perfect picture. Often these trips are with a group of friends associated with Randy’s employer.
Success has not eluded Verna. Some of her photos have made it into a bank calendar and a local magazine. She has been asked to take photos for local politicians, local celebrities and political events. Currently, Verna works part-time at the Greenbrier Chamber of Commerce as an Administrative Assistant. New York City was her new photography playground in March 2012. I can tell from my Facebook page that she has been wearing out her camera. She has a good eye, even when she doesn’t use the view finder. Since photography is a visual medium, take a peek at some of the pictures I included in this blog.
As I said earlier, I would explain “retired moms.” I define retired moms as women 50 plus who are empty nesters or will soon become empty nesters and are grandmothers. While I know moms never really retire, the role of mother changes when the children are grown or close to being grown. Since women are natural nurturers, they need to redirect their those skills somewhere else and most of the time it’s getting involved with the grandchildren. When grandchildren are not involved, then the skills are redirected towards an unfulfilled passion. In the very near future, look for articles and stories about these special women. An Inbox Magazine is presently in the works for what I like to call Retired Moms Only. Verna Higgins was just the beginning.
We could all learn from Verna. Age IS just a number. Women’s roles will change with age. I don’t think there is any controversy there, but what matters most is what women 50+ choose to do with their lives when their roles as mothers change. I hope to hear from women who fit that demographic. I want to know what is important to you after age 50.
Image AND Integrity
I am blessed to receive in my personal e-mail daily Christian walk messages from Crosswalk.com. One particular group I requested to receive daily emails is from Girls in God or GiG. I bring this up because today’s message was about Image vs. Integrity.
Now, I’m in the public relations business and two of the many focuses of PR is image and integrity. This message got me to thinking about the many PR applications of image and integrity. PR professionals are in the business of image. We work to IMPROVE an image, create image AWARENESS for someone or something, and HEIGHTEN an existing good image for someone or something. Sometimes, when an image needs to be improved it is because the integrity of an individual or company has slipped. Sometimes, if that image has fallen off a cliff there may be no image restoration to follow or it just becomes a greater, bigger challenge to fix.
Integrity not only applies to a client, but also applies toward the PR practioner. Of course, integrity applies to many other professions too, but the PR practioner, I think, is held to a higher standard because of other poorly historic practices.
For the current and future practioner, the Public Relations Society of America implements an annual workshop every September to ensure that each PR professional knows and understands what it mean to have integrity in our work.
The bible verse that GiG used came from Proverbs 11:3, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”(NIV) Good integrity can open doors, create good relationships, build and maintain trust, and build a road towards a good life. The opposite of unfaithful is faithful. Be faithful to possess and maintain one’s integrity. I realize this verse is meant for those who believe in God, but I think it speaks true regardless of one’s belief. Can a person reinstate integrity once it has been lost? Yes, but it is a very, very long hard road to travel. It will take a very long time to regain what has been lost.
To quote from the GiG email about the spiritual discipline of integrity, “Our public lives are only as authentic as our private lives. Image is who and what people think we are while integrity is who and what we really are. Billy Graham once said, “Integrity is the glue that holds our way of life together. We must constantly strive to keep our integrity intact. When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost.”
As you are reading this, I’m certain what comes to mind is the questionable behavior of a potential presidential candidate. Integrity speaks loudly about character. With all things in the media, it seems integrity has been placed last on the list of good moral values.
Hello world! R Squared Communications Is Now Open!
It’s official!! After struggling with website design for several weeks, R Squared Communications has opened its doors for business. I’m excited! My website is www.r2comimc.co. From there, you can learn more about the services R Squared can provide. The business name R Squared comes from my first and last name initials. I think this major recession, which began in 2007 or 2008, will put American creativity and ingenuity back in action. Forced out of two jobs in about a year’s time has caused me to implement my own business. Add to that, I am in my mid-50s. Now, I am putting my public relations, marketing, and advertising experience to work for me in a way that’s a better fit for me.
After losing my last job in August 2010, I truly struggled for several months with who it is I really need to be professionally. Did I have to redefine my career choice? R Squared was a dream beginning in 2003. Thanks to Kate Buck Jr. and her social media management resources, I now have a starting vision for my agency. I also have to thank a friend who had the vision of starting her own nonprofit. I watched her forge ahead in her dream with faith. We share the same faith. Between her and the Almighty Trinity, I am learning to build up that faith. I’m going to need that faith to grow this business. If our economy continues to grow, then I think I am jumping in at the right time.
R Squared and I want to be there to help these new entrepreneurs launch their dreams and ideas. I want to help alleviate their concerns about the marketing and advertisement needs.
I am active with the Arkansas Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Wednesday, May 25, 2011, is World MS Awareness day. I can be found volunteering my time there. We will be there to help people be aware of what it feels like to have MS. I am looking forward to it.
